Not in the mormon church, not at all. And not in pretty much any other church I have come across. I guess I just wish I could believe in something–anything–to give meaning to life. In kind and loving heavenly parents. In goodness. In true love.  I miss that, sort of, not enough to go back to the church and say “Oops, I was wrong. Can I come back now?”  Never that much. 

I guess I’ll have to do what I’ve been doing for the past couple of years. Finding meaning for myself. Making it for myself. Finding love in relationships with family and friends. Being open  to the differences that make this world such a beautiful horrible place. Accepting that I don’t know the answers, and nor do I need to know. Accepting that my thoughts and beliefs are not the reflections of some mysterious dude in the sky, but my own thoughts and beliefs.